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Nami: What the heck?!?!

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My mom ALWAYS has a messed-up reason to NOT have Casey over....!
Ex.(s)
1st Time: Because of my attitude
2nd: Because she thought Casey ws a liar and irresponsable with me OR/AND her
3rd: Not agreeing on her idea of Halloween and my costume (I didn't WANT to go trick-or-treating in the first place!)
4th: She thought Casey treats me like dirt
5th: She was "late".... SO WHAT?! It's NOT the end of the world!
6th: NOW she tells me RIGHT AFTER I INVITE HER AGAIN..... that I HAVE A DOG TO TAKE CARE OF......WTF?! I know that! And Casey wouldn't be a other, but a blessing!!!!
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I don't understand this.... I can't have her over because of my dog?! (Her first excuse was a pathetic "IDK what I'm making for dinner....") It's not like Casey's a 4 year old! Why is it that whenever I re-invite her, SOMETHING HAS TO BE IN THE WAY? This sucks. I'm alone.... I hate it! I had a great morning knowing I had another chance to have Casey over, and for CHRISTMAS! But NooOOOOoooo.... apparently now my own mother pointed out "You have a puppy to take care of~!" OBVIOUSLY!!!! And Casey would be able to help me, not cause trouble! I don't think my mom can handle Casey over anyway.... No wonder she said she'd buy me that 8 Keyblade Set for X-mas.... Well, I don't want it! I'll sacrifice all my X-mas presents for my best-friend.... I wanna quit being this way....
I remember now why I go a puppy in the fist place.... and it was a stupid reason....
*cries in a corner* This whole journal entry was stupid.... I'm sorry if I wasted your time with an unheard rant....
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THOUGHT-BOOK ENTRY 11/18-25/09
1. I hate being me....
2. Why am I still here?
3. I'm annoying.
4. Die....
5. Maybe I should run away.
6. Forget what I want, have it your way....
7. I don't want my Christmas present anymore.... I want Casey.
8. I've cried way to long....
9. I can't draw.... I must have an Artist's Block now....
10. I don't remember how to draw Roxas....
11. I don't want lunch.... or dinner....
12. I don't like purple anymore....
13. Why is Haley putting a bow in my hair....
14. Why did I wake up....
15. ....I'm afraid I might become bi....or emo....or both....
16. Twilight needs to be burned.... ALL of the books do....
17. Hate.
18. I don't trust myself....
19. My mom's not my mom.
20. My dad won't pay child support anymore....
21. I hate Thanksgiving....
22. I hate Christmas this year.... It hasn't come yet.
23. I don't like half of my friends anymore....
24. My bus-driver is quiting.
25. It's so cold.
26. There's dozens of reasons why I'm a mistake....
27. My first dream I had when I was little.... was of me falling from heaven.... Or maybe I was thrown-out because I was some demon-child....
28. That can't be true.
29. I can't feel aything but sorrow and regret.
30. An angel let me fall.... I couldn't have been thrown-out of heaven.
31. This is my longest thought-book entry ever....
32. Am I alive.... or in a deep sleep?
33. My feet hurt.
34. I don't know who I am anymore....
35. I don't deserve to have a jacket to keep me warm....
36. Lately, smiling makes my head hurt.
37. I just can't smile.
38. Never say never.... my favorite song now.
39. I forgot the reason why I like to draw....
40. Never mind.... I have a glimpse of it.
41. 41.... what a weird number.
42. I'm the one that's weird.
43. I'm a freak.
44. My friends are getting annoying....
45. Stop sitting with me.
46. One moment.... is one hour....
47. I like crying....
48. I hate my dad.
49. My grandma is stupid. She kicked me and my mom out, and NOW she asks for money....and to come back to CA....
50. My head just moved on it's own....
51. I had a black out....and.... after my vision cleared I saw my CDs scattered all over my bedroom floor....
52. I'm good at nothing but drawing anime....
53. So what?
54. My grades are going down. Especilly in Social Studies.
55. I can't stand that trumpet player about a half a mile away.... He or she stinks at it....
56. My dog is asleep........."yay"
57. My room's even messier now.
58. Getting to 60....
59. Almost there....and....
60. There.... I've done it. Now I'll go sob in my room some more.
Pixelmari